Choo choo

>

As you know, I take the train every day to work. Most days, I catch the 6:08 a.m. out of Schaumburg (freakin’ early right?) I get downtown at 7:03 a.m. and take the 125 Water Tower Express bus to Chicago and Michigan and walk half a block to work.

I just gave you a map for how to stalk me in the a.m. If you did, it would probably be the most interesting thing to happen to me all day.

I digress …

People on the train think it’s all about strategy. I’m here to say most of their “strategies” are bunk.

Train commuters will try to sit in the seats closest to the door. Even if there’s someone already in them and there are empty seats further back. They believe it will yield a quicker exit when they have to get off.

I, however, enjoy an empty seat for a stop or two, and I enjoy sitting by the window. Every morning I battle feelings of comfort vs. insecurity. I’d prefer sitting by myself, but sometimes find myself offended when people don’t choose to sit next to me. This apprehension was calmed yesterday when “The Smelly Train Guy” sat next to me on the way home. Not only was he “Smelly Train Guy,” but he was “Snotty Train Guy” and blew his nose all the way home. Oh, and he was “Chatty Kathy Train Guy” and yakked on his cell phone the whole way.

People will line up to get off at Union Station before the second-to-last stop (Western Avenue) just to ensure they can exit quickly. So everybody getting off at Western Avenue has to mow the Speedy Mcgee’s down just to get off the train. But here’s the catch, people will line up to get off, yet they’ll still let the people who are sitting down get in front of them when everybody’s getting off the train. They still allow the traditional “airplane exit,” where one row at a time leaves.

I lined up a couple times, but once I realized I had no more time advantage than the slackers sitting down, I decided to relish my last 15 minutes on the train and remain in my seat, reading my US Weekly or listening to one of the many NPR podcasts I downloaded (GEEK ALERT!!)

Train commuters also employ strategy when getting to their cars at the end of the day. By strategy, I mean literally running at top speed from the train to their car so they can get out of the parking lot quickly. It’s a funny sight, let me tell you.

In some train station parking lots, like Roselle, I can see the point. It’s a disaster trying to pull out without hitting anybody and even more of a catastrophe trying to make a left to get onto Irving Park Road. In Schaumburg, I find it fine to leisurely find my way to my car and exit at a normal pace. I’m only turning into a residential subdivision, and I don’t find it necessary to drive 45 mph through the parking lot (I wish I could employ this thinking while on regular roads).

These are my thoughts and don’t even get me started on the bus …