Gettin' my nails did

I've often said, "Never trust a girl who doesn't paint her toe nails." I think I still feel that way. I understand not everybody can afford to get a pedicure every six weeks (or month), but I do think women should keep their toes presentable.

On that note, I probably can't afford to get pedicures as often as I do, but as I always say, "I'm worth it." To be fair, I only do it during the spring/summer when I'm wearing sandals or when I'm about to go on vacation.

I'm leaving for Florida Tuesday, so I got my toes ready today. I went to Nail Love; your typical Asian nail salon, and they do a hell of a job. $20 with a $4 tip, and my toes look lovely.

A couple things during the experience made me chuckle today. First was the massage chair I sat in. Sure it had the typical back massager, but it also massaged ... other parts. Namely, my coolie and my chi chi. I looked around and none of the other women getting their toes done had exercised their right to get a back massage in the process. And it's pretty obvious I'm getting the full treatment, because every time it rubbed "down there," the chair let out a loud noise as if it was puffing air. And I couldn't figure out how to turn it off!

Almost every time I get a pedicure, the ladies ask me if I also want a manicure. I've never had a manicure other than the fake nails I wore at prom (which ended up underneath the table and all around our cabin in the Wisconsin Dells). I pick my nails and chip the polish very easy, and it's a lot more expensive to maintain a manicure than it is a pedicure. So I always say no. Today, the ladies really worked me over.

The owner came and sat down next to the girl who was working on my feet and asked how I was doing. This led to the obligatory question of whether I also wanted a manicure. I said no but thank you. She said it'll be really easy, we'll do such and such with your cuticles and just put a clear polish on it. Nothing fancy. No, but thank you, I said. Then she turned to the other woman and said something in a different language, and they both looked at me and smiled. "Your nails are so nice," she said. If they're so nice, why the heck do I need a manicure, I thought. Then she gave me the sales pitch again. Again, I said no, but thank you. "Maybe next time," she said. Then she said something to the other woman in a different language again. They both laughed. I'm convinced it was something about me.

I felt like Elaine in "Seinfeld."