Eat it, bridesmaid dress!!

I may look super jolly in this picture. And, for the most part, I am. While I was overjoyed that Lauren was getting married, I was quite physically uncomfortable.

In the months leading up to Lauren's wedding, it apparently escaped me I would have to fit into a dress. So when I put it on the day of, it was to my surprise and dismay that it took two girls to stuff me into it. I was quite uncomfortable most of the day until the booze kicked in.

I refuse to let this happen again. So when my college roommate Sarah called me last night and asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, I knew I had to make some changes.

The unthinkable happened: I set my alarm to go running this morning. I have come to accept that I'm nearly unable to work out when I get home from work at night. First, I don't get home until after 6 p.m. most nights and by then, I'm hungry and drained and just want to lay on the couch and check Facebook and watch TV. So when I do work out, it's usually in the morning. I go to school board meetings one to two nights a week so I don't start work until 1 p.m., leaving me plenty of time for a workout. But this isn't enough. So, I'm going to try running in the morning. Now don't get too crazy. Don't be thinking I'm setting my alarm for 5:30 a.m. Journalists notoriously start work later, and I don't start until 10 a.m. today, so I was able to wake up at 7:30 a.m.

And ... it actually felt good. I'm hoping to have more energy throughout the day. I ran about 2 miles and it took me about 35 minutes. The soundtrack I set for myself via my Ipod also helped. Here's how that went:

*I started off with "Little Bird" by Annie Lennox. Definitely got the run off to a good pace.
*Then "Love to Love You Baby" by Donna Summers came on. Considering I had a dream last night involving me making out with Don Draper from "Mad Men" in a pool, I didn't think that would bode well for my thoughts.
*"Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley. The ultimate journalist's song.
*"These Arms are Mine" - DRAPER!!!!
*Finished things off with "Poker Face" Lady Gaga

Deadline: June 12. Wish me luck.

Real World headbands

Are these back/ever were in style? Not sure I am into the whole tribal headband across the forehead.

Other things that bother me about "The Real World: Cancun:"
*Forced lesbianism: I'm down with whatever peeps are down with, but I'm getting sick of these girls going lesbo just because they think it'll get them more TV action. Jonna went from having a serious boyfriend who she was going to marry to cheating on him with a new guy to having a threesome with a roommate. Blah.
*Pat, who was in the threesome with Jonna and Ayiia. The entire time he just kept saying "I can't believe it. This isn't real." Get over it and get in there!
*Ayiia freaking out that her "professional" parents will be mad she had a threesome. They're so unsupportive, she said. Um, I don't know any parents that would support their daughter having a threesome on national TV.
*The headbands again. I can't get on board with these.

The worst part about all of this is in about six months these kids are going to be on the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" and have to kick it up a notch to compete with Anissa and The Miz.

Reality Show checklist

Here are some reality shows I wouldn't want to be on. Since you've been dying to know.

*Jon & Kate Plus 8: Not sure who I would be on this, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to be one of their kids. I'm kind of addicted to tabloids so I'd probably figure out pretty quick what my parents are up to. I've (one would think) grown out of dating douchebags, so being Jon's new gf is out. We've already covered how mean Kate is, so I'd have a hard time playing the helpful friend.

*Survivor: I get hungry really quick. Then I get crabby. I'd sign up for the free tropical trip but probably quit pretty fast.

*The Bachelor: I'm pretty sure those rose ceremonies are open bar, and we all know what happens to Kelly around free liquor. I'd drink like it's going out of style, not get a rose, and be "that girl" in the limo crying.

*The Bachelorette: Knowing me I wouldn't like any of the guys.

*American Idol: Me. Beer. Karaoke. 'Nuff said.

There are some reality shows I think I would be into.

*The Real World: I'm pretty sure I'd be OK with hanging out in a different city without a job for five months. I can't figure out what "character" I'd be. Probably the mouthy one.

*The Real Housewives of ... " : If I'm on this show, I'm probably super rich, so that's not too shabby. They should do "Real Housewives of Roselle/Hanover Park" and it could be me, Moogs, Lauren and Heather. Me and Moogs have to find husbands though. (sad trombone). (Oh, and see pic above!)

*The Amazing Race: This depends on the partner. I think my mom and I would be pretty good teammates, but I'd be worried we'd get hung up at the bar.

*Giuliana and Bill: This is a new one on the Style Network. In my fantasies I'm married to Bill Rancic and it's called "Kelly and Bill."

The Kate Gosselin story

My mom has told me for awhile I should share my personal Kate Gosselin story with some of the blogs dedicated to hating her. But I felt like that was kind of unethical since this happened while I was attempting to report on her. I don't make it a practice to blast my sources to the world. And considering the amount of bad press she's gotten and the exponential way her bitchiness has grown, my little story wouldn't resonate in the grand scheme of the KG haters.

But this is my personal fishbowl so here it is:

I first started watching "John & Kate Plus 8" around early 2007, and immediately became obsessed. I was at work one day doing some heavy internet stalking and came across their speaking schedule. Back then, they spoke at various churches around the country for, of course, money. I saw they were speaking at a church in northwest Ohio, which is part of my paper's coverage area, that weekend. I happened to be on the schedule to work that Sunday, so I pitched to my editor that I should attend the event.

I got the go ahead and called the church for details. The pastor was very nice and said I was welcome to come and listen, but he relayed that Jon and Kate's strict contract with TLC didn't allow them to do any non-approved interviews or have their picture or video taken. But I was still welcome to come listen to their presentation and write about what I heard. My editor was down with that but said I should call TLC and have them send any promotional pictures we could use. I left a producer with TLC a message. I saw that Kate had her personal e-mail address on their Web site, so I sent her an e-mail, not thinking there was any chance I would hear back.

I was wrong.

Kate e-mailed me back a very nasty e-mail in ALL CAPS demanding I not come to their speech and said if I came I would be kicked out. She said she and Jon did these speeches as Jon and Kate Gosselin, not as their "Jon & Kate Plus 8" personas. It went on and on and to be honest, I can't remember what it said, but it was mean just like her.

The pastor then called me and said Kate called him and was threatening to cancel their appearance if I was there. He apologized but asked if I please would not come since they had already promoted this to their congregation. He said I was welcome to come as a guest but asked I not come as a journalist. We obliged because, in the end, it wasn't that big of a deal. But legally, I would've had every right to go to the church and write about their speech. If it's open to the public, it's open to media. And if Jon and Kate were so worried about media reporting on their speaking engagements, they shouldn't post the dates, times and places on their Web site.

So that's it. Kate is mean, but Jon is still King Douche.

Chachi's likes and dislikes

My cat, Chachi, is a cross between a mommy's boy and a bully. He can be meaner than a junkyard dog and sweet as an angel. I realize this is because I'm a softie when it comes to him and discipline him with smooches instead of spankings. The bright side is that I'm able to turn my male pet into these things before I turn a son into them.

So, in honor of Chach's impending unknown August/September birthday (we're both Virgos), here are some of his likes and dislikes.

LIKES
*Bras
*Tank tops
*Watching "the guys" (i.e. his birdies and squirrlies) outside in the morning
*ME!
*His grandma
*Headquarters: a nylon blue and green tent that sits in the middle of my living room.
*Jumping up in front of the door to bat the chain lock.
*Sucking on his tail while laying next to me. I read that cats do this when they're weaned from their mother too early. It's actually kind of sad to watch.
*Watching me go to the bathroom while sitting on top of the toilet.
*Watching me take a bath from the rim of the tub.

DISLIKES
*Any boy that comes over and pays attention to me.
*Being squirted with water when he's bad.
*When I leave for more than two hours.
*When all his toys are put neatly in the toy box. He'll take out the ones he likes and put them back where he thinks they go.
*He's kind of on the fence about my dad, who has no clue how to differentiate between how to pet a cat vs. a dog.

Not a virgin

This isn't my first blog, by the way.

I had a blog for two years running on .... Indiana state marching band finals. Ohhhhh....yeeeeaaaahhhh.

Sexy stuff here. I was able to transfer what I learned from eight years in band to my career. I covered the state marching band competition at the RCA Dome for two years for the paper. I had street cred.

I did geek out a little and actually enjoyed listening to the bands perform but those two days were two of my worst as a journalist. I've been told covering the Indianapolis Colts is less of a hassle than marching band. I wore no less than nine press passes around my neck, and you would think the Secret Service was hired to staff the event. The security surrounding these band was incredible. I've covered Obama twice and Hilary Clinton once and honest to God, the security rivaled those events.

So anyway, just wanted you to know you're working with a veteran here.

It's ME!

I used to think people who wrote blogs were narcissistic beings who just wanted people to pay attention to them (used to=still kind of do). Well, this blog isn't really for you. It's for me! (Cue video clip of Tyra, "It's me!" You'd get it if you watched "The Soup). But really, I want to keep up my conversational/funny/lame/non-education writing and thought this would be a good outlet. I write stories about budgets, policies, taxes, school board meetings and government officials every day and sometimes feel boxed in by the structure of it all. Sure, I write feature stories and can be more creative, but it's hard to be as clever or funny as I want to be in a newspaper article.

So, here I am.

This blog doesn't have a theme, though you will probably find some thematic elements in it. I'll tip you off to a few: Chachi, celebrities, celebrity gossip, TV shows I watch, movies I've seen, funny moments from my day, a possible daily crisis or two, etc. It won't get personal. You probably won't be able to peer into my soul, either. But hopefully you'll walk away amused and maybe think to yourself, "I guess she made an OK choice becoming a writer. She'd be better as a typist, though."